Fili’s world

That’s a really special couple.

One of my favorite weekend paper sections is the last two-fold of every week’s Haaretz “mosaf” (supplemental). Every week a new Israeli family is introduced, written in a very unique way usually describing a very interesting life story or a family situation, showing the diversity of Israeli life. A few weeks ago I read with great interest the story of the Jobran family from Haifa, an Israeli couple of Arab and Japanese origin, and I just have to share it with you. Here’s a very fast translation of the highlights :

About : Jobran (35), Akiko (Aki, 33)

House : two floors, old, well taken care of, quiet surroundings (German colony), 8 families.

8 families : 4 Jewish, 4 Arab, all sharing Willie (the gardener, Russian, 150 shekels a month)

Going up (a floor and a half) : Thay-o (”sun” in Japanese), sounds excited across the door. It’s a Labrador dog, speaks Japanese, Arab and English.

Real-estate history : House was bought by the Jobran family 14 years ago for 40 thousand dollars. It’s about 60sqm, with a hall, two rooms, a living room, a kitchen and a toilet.

The books : among other things, an Arab-Japanese dictionary, 3 volumes of “One thousand and one nights”, a fancy Koran, El Kasam poems, Jobran flute songs (”of the family”) and Kanji with 50 thousand printed characters. On the fridge there’s a Japanese magnet - “If you insist on your dreams, they will come true”.

Occupation : Jobran has a PhD in law, expert on international law, co-manager of “change” (Sikuy), working for equality between Jews and Arabs in the public sector. Tries to promote total civic equality. His office is in Haifa (”3 minutes walk from home”), drives twice a week for meetings in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem (”using public transport”), has a private car - a 1971 bumble-bee (”preserved, not for sale”) that he will only use for take Aki to their favorite pubs and coffee places in Haifa (”The dunk, Fetosh, and Dojan”).

Aki’s activities : Not really working right now. Every now and again does Japanese-Hebrew translation (like, for the police, after a ship collided into a Japanese fishing boat), volunteers for the Japanese museum at the Carmel and studies Hebrew in an Ulpan at the Haifa University. Spends her days at home, loves to cook, can make Sushi, Sashimi, and Jaj Machsi (a stuffed chicken). Says she’ll be happy to find a job in an Israeli company trading with Japan.

Breakfast : A cheese plate with whole-wheat bread (tomatoes), sausages and red-Italian wine (”light”).

Jobran : [...] Graduated law at the Hebrew University and traveled east to find himself, spent 3 years in India, Thailand, Korea, Japan and Australia (”I’m probably the first Palestinian backpacker”), studied Buddhism and speaking Thai, then came back to Israel.

Japan : After he came back, he applied for a scholarship in Japan with the Japan office in Tel-Aviv and - to his complete surprise - got the scholarship (”I told them that in the 10 years the scholarship has been offered, there was never an Arab winner”). In ‘95 went to study on the Japanese government expense (got 2000 dollars per month), did his masters in Kommoto in southern Japan (where he met Aki) and continued for a PhD in Cuba.

Phd : “Oslo agreements through international law” (mentored by a Japanese researcher)

Japanese : First year concentrated on language studies alone, and after a year and a half gained control of speaking, reading and a “little writing”. Says that the Japanese keyboard is actually English with adjustments.

Aki : Originally Aki Nakayma, born in ‘73, Kommoto, father is a construction engineer, mother is a government office secretary, has a younger sister. Went to a Catholic school although her family is Shinto (”which is not really a religion”). Did her BA in sociology, worked in the public library and met Jobran.

The meeting : 13th of July, 1996, he was 25, an Arab student, lonely, lived in the dorms (”in a small well equipped room”), she was 23, working at the library, living with her parents. She didn’t know any foreigners till then, “especially not Palestinians”, one day he got the courage to ask her for help in ordering books (”truth is, I fancied her”), she gladly helped, he asked her for coffee, she gladly said yes, then they went to a restaurant and she bought him an English-Japanese dictionary as a gift. Later, he met her parents.

Her parents : “They welcomed me”, Jobran recalls. Japanese parents, he says, “are ten times worse than the Polish”. Says that they wait in the backyard while their child’s doing a test.

His parents : “Both loved the idea”, he says. His mother immediately took off to Japan to meet her parents, and his father loved Aki when he met her in Israel. After going out for two years and living together, they decided to get married. Before getting married, they moved in with his parents for 6 months, so Aki could check if she wants to change her mind. After the wedding Aki became Christian, despite Jobran’s objections. “I disapproved” he says, “I wanted her Japanese, not Christian”. He considers himself atheist.

Wedding : The first one was held in Japan in the Kammoto University hall. Jobran and Aki wore a Kimono and the 250 guests mainly gave money (”average for a distant acquaintance - 300US$). The second wedding was in the Catholic church in Haifa, later moving to Nazareth.

Culture shock : When the Japanese were carried around on the shoulders.

Living in Israel : Jobran says his wish to return to Israel won over her wish to stay in Japan. He felt that he has to act to promote equality in Israel. His role in life is to try and “grow a generation that will have the tools to reach an agreement” (with the Jews).

Kids : Depends on treatments. Jobran and Aki will be happy with one child, he prefers a daughter.

Housekeeping : Aki cooks, and in special events - Jobran. Both wash the house twice a day (Jobran - morning, Aki - evening), Jobran also cleans around the house and takes care of the dog.

TV : “Eretz Nehederet”, says Aki. Jobran likes Channel 2 news and sports.

Fights and makingup : “Our fights have two parts” he says, “first part I give a compelling speech, and in the second Aki tells me where I had a mistake”.

In 50 years : “Peace would be good for all of us” says Jobran. Doesn’t have a problem with Israel as a country, but rather with the definition of “Jewish-democratic”. “Aki”, he says, “didn’t have health insurance for 6 month because her husband is Arab”. He fears a Jewish state as much as he fears a Muslim or a Christian state.

Dreams : Jobran - university professor and opening a pub (”I got an amazing place for it”). Aki - to fully know Arab and Hebrew and write a novel.

Happiness (1 to 10) : Aki - 8, Jobran - same.