Fili’s world

This next piece is from one of the few Israelis writing about life in China from a blog "How to raise an Israeli family in China without knowing Chinese". It was so funny and interesting (and a bit nasty, Israeli style) that I just had to translate it to English :

Ni Hao, Ni Hao, Ni Hao, Ni Hao! Ni Hao to everybody. Yeah, we’re back in China and we have a daughter – eh, you’ve heard that? Yeah, it’s nice to be back. He’s two and a bit, she’s four months. Yeah, she looks like me, yeah, he looks like his dad. Nope, Xiao-Bao still can’t speak Chinese. Nope, it’s not dangerous to carry Xiao Bao in a carrier. No, they’re not cold… and no, we didn’t eat yet.

It’s so wonderful that we have good neighbors like you – caring, warm and welcoming. You’re always happy to chit-chat, advise, direct, host, lend equipment and teach Xiao Bao the local dialect. You show extremely good neighboring and you’re much better at it than I am when I’m staying with people who’s language I speak. But, when you yell your throats out “Xiao Bao! Xiao Bao!” and I still don’t stop, it’s not because I didn’t hear you. When you ask the same questions for the millionth time and I don’t answer, it’s not because I misunderstood. I feel bad saying it, but I often try to avoid you.

It’s not because you’re not nice to me, or that I’m not friendly. It’s not because of the language barrier and it really isn’t your fault. Please understand : you’re just SO Chinese. Charming, but Chinese. What do I mean? I’ll try to explain :

In Israel we have a concept called “personal space” that only people close to us are allowed to cross. By saying “close” I do not include neighbors or by-passers and sometimes not even family. When people who aren’t close (like you) enter this space, we usually feel under attack. Yeah, maybe it’s because we live in a country with lots of weapons. Anyways, when you come to pet Xiao Bao or look at the carrier attached to me, yeah? We feel stressed, okay? It’s just not pleasant.

We also have a concept called “privacy”. This one is also valid against neighbors. It means that we don’t ask you where you’re going to, what you ate, if you ate, if you’re cold etc all the time. We just say Hello, maybe add a What’s up and a null comment about the weather. We’re considered to be good neighbors when we pay our bills and keep quiet between 14:00 and 16:00 (… And blowing up things in the backyard, no matter at what hour, really doesn’t please us, even if it’s for the wedding ceremony of the neighbor’s daughter. It makes us think that we need to write our will).

We also have another concept called “tact”. We mean, for example, that when we see a Chinese in our neighborhood we don’t start screaming “Hey look! Here’s a C-H-I-N-E-S-E!” and we don’t photograph him (at least not without his permission). When you see us and immediately start to jump up and down calling the whole block to come see us, it’s just – how should I put it – tactless. We only do this to our celebrities.

Over at the west, when we don’t understand something, we usually don’t nod off muttering “ah…”. We’d rather that they repeat the sentence to avoid mis-understandings. When we don’t agree, we don’t just nod and smile, we’re rather argue straight out. Yeah, that may also have something to do with how common weapons are in our country.

We don’t eat everything. We have all sorts of religious, hygienic, health, educational and esthetic limitations. You can never know what limitations other parents put for their child, so you just can’t shove food for the children without asking us if it’s fine. If we say “no”, then thank you, please stop offering.

We only drive like mad in cars, not in bikes, and we usually slow down when we see people walking, especially children. You, on the other hand, will take any opportunity to cross a no-crossing line, turn on red and go 60k/h in the driveway.

Over in Israel, we have all sorts of Jews, not all of them very rich or very clever. Honestly.

And most important – over in Israel people know a bit more English that “Hallo?!?” and we also communicate well with each other in Hebrew (Russian, Arab…).

 

Yours,

 

The neighbor from …

Mother of Xiao Bao and Xiao Meimei

The new flat