Fili’s world

"9:00 in the morning. A second before it seemed like a regular morning, a morning like any others before, with the usual boring routine of getting accustomed to a new place. Only, 9:00 is when the urgent text message arrives and the mess begins - 'Big problem with block 56 in the Maafan model. Stop. Engage Taiwanese team immediately'.

I know that block of code. I needed no further explanations. Usually, we like writing our own stuff back in the Israeli dev-team, but for this unique line of work we figured we should do something special - something international, so we went ahead - searched the globe, till we found a special Taiwanese outsourcing company that specializes in writing this kind of code blocks. That's when I was sent by the Israeli company here, to Taiwan, to start working with the local team. Till now, even though me and my wife are still struggling with understanding Taiwan, they've done well. They think a bit different, I can tell, but it seems to be working out, so I'm taking it slowly, step by step.

But this kind of message from the Israeli company's HQ means trouble. Till now, everything went okay, but this message means something is VERY wrong. I initiate Skype, open up a short video conference with my contact in Tel-Aviv, and soon realize that the faulty module affects one of our biggest costumer's installation. Bottom line - he needs a solution now, or it would mean a great loss in reputation and future profit for the company.

I try and think how I should approach this issue. I hesitate for a while on the phone, thinking how I should phrase things, but the problem keeps banging me inside, so I finally pick up the phone and call the Taiwanese company. Hello, yeah, somebody who speaks English please, thank you, yeah, hi Jeremy, thank you, I'm fine, yeah, the wife's fine too, listen, yeah, doing okay in Taiwan but listen - I have to tell you something, there's an URGENT problem in one of your modules, yeah, it's serious, no, more serious than the DingDong case. Listen carefully - I have to meet with your technical team immediately so we could sit down and solve this ASAP, no no, no time for that, no please, don't prepare anything for me, I just want us to meet in 30 minutes with the dev team and find out what's wrong so we could issue a fix in 2 hours MAX, oh - and Jeremy, yeah, please - non of that official guest welcome you usually put for me, no time, we need this solution three hours ago."

Okay, that went well. Jeremy's okay. Of all the Taiwanese team over there, it always seemed to me like Jeremy is someone I can trust to help me in my time of need. He did his computer-science MA in MIT a few years back so his English is great and he seems to understand the way we think, so I trust him that if he says he'll prep up the dev team for a quick meeting in 30 minutes, that it would be okay.

I take a short shower and put on some quick casual clothing I had lying around. I take a Taxi to Neihu, very proud of the fact that I could tell my no-English Taxi driver where to go  so that he understands me. On the way, I watch a few very loud Japanese standup talkshows running in the Taxi TV and then I finally arrive at the big modern building. It's time to get to work.

As they open the door to greet me, I already sense something's wrong. This is not how I pictured it. A welcoming committee of 5 senior management of the Taiwanese company , who I haven't seen before, shake my hand in the welcome-room handing me their business cards. Being over occupied with the urgent problem, I obviously forgot mine, but I'm thinking I'll try and remedy this after I solve the problem. The 5 seniors walk me through to a big conference room with an oval table, where a team of about 35 people await my arrival, and I'm seated at the end in the "guest of honor" chair. I try to protest - no no, I told Jeremy no big meetings, just me and the dev team, please - but it's no use, the management team have gathered to show respect for the costumer from Israel and to address the urgent issue. This management team, I am told, only meets when something really bad happens - what you would call a "guanxi disaster" and they're all aware of how important a fault in the Maafan module is. I sigh, trying to calm my self down, hoping that this meeting would end, ignoring the "Do you have a solution yet?" "How long? How long?" text-messages I keep getting on my mobile, and sit down. They ask me to open up, go I give a very simple and clear explanation as what I believe happened and stress my opinion that we should all retire now and meet after I solve this issue with the dev-team. I even go out of my polite way to say "you understand? This is how we do things in Israel". I sit down, praying that it worked, watch them all look at each other - contemplating what's next, and then Jeremy starts a round of comments giving every member around the table 2 minutes to state their opinion in broken English-Chinese mismash. 2 minutes each? 2 minutes, 2 minutes, times 35 people, 70 minutes, 70 minutes! Jeremy - I try my last attempt - It would take forever to do it this way, I am asking you to please allow me to get started on solving this issue. Everybody around me looks shocked, somewhat disappointed, Jeremy gives me a rebuking look and slowly answer - but sir, I'm sure you understand, you got your speech time, why would you prevent it from others? Everybody nods. I fall back on my seat, giving up.

It wasn't 70 minutes. Oh no. After the first round of comments, everybody paused for some tea sipping, and then got back to another round where everybody could comment on others' comments from round 1. They ask me to start the second round, and all I could master to say is - "Please, no comments here, anything to make this meeting shorter". 45 minutes later, two hours that I was planning on to solve this issue, were a complete waste. How, I keep thinking, how will I explain this to my superiors in Israel?

Meeting's over, everybody gets a copy of the meeting's transcript in their emails to review and check that their comments were well represented. I walk over to Jeremy, put my hands around him and whisper in his ear - Gosh, I'm glad that's over, can we please get to work now?

Jeremy looks back at me, as if he doesn't understand what the hell I'm talking about - but Sir, we cannot, look at the big clock on the wall, it is our lunch time. Lunch time? Right right, lunch, yeah, just bring me and the dev team a few sandwiches, we'll be okay. Oh, but Sir, management have come here to invite you as our honorable guest to a good restaurant for lunch, surely you must go. But Jeremy, we need to solve this issue now. Sir, no body works at lunch time, it is just not right.

Me and the deadly 35 go to the ultra-fancy Japanese restaurant. I'm extremely nervous and anxious to get this lunch over and done with as soon as I can. I worry a little when they tell me there's no menu and that I will soon 'see'. A Japanese lunch, I find out the hard way, consists of 18 dishes served one after the other but only when the previous dish is completely done with. 18 dishes, 35 people need to finish every dish. Lunch takes over 2 hours. They all drink rice wine and toast in my honor, try to be friendly and welcoming, but for me the whole situation is horrible. My Israeli contacts will kill me if they knew I went feasting while they were fencing back the angry costumer.

Arriving back at the company I just have this feeling there's more coming before I could get to work. I even do a small guessing game with my self, trying to think what they would come up with next. We enter the main open-space hall and I notice it's extremely quiet. Looking inside the cubicals I notice the next annoying obstacle. I had no idea the Taiwanese are Spanish culture oriented, but infront of me I see over a 100 people with their heads down over their hands on the table - sleeping. A siesta, relaxation after the big lunch. Another hour wasted. We're not going to solve this problem today, I know that now. I'm dead meat, I am going to be fired - for sure."

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Just one simple example I discussed recently with people about the East-West/Taiwanese-Israeli culture clash. Plenty more interesting stories, and almost everytime I tell one - I get one in return. Fascinating.