Fili’s world

We’ve been brought up to believe that the less that we do, officially - the more free time we have. Lately, I’m finding that very hard to prove. Although, on paper, I have a LOT of spare time, I rarely get to all the things I want to do, and I can’t find a single reason why that happens.

I’ve got this job I do for a day or two a week that’s pretty easy and somewhat interesting for me professionally, I’ve got some Far east studies I’m trying to keep (China since 1949, Basic Manadrin and Spoken Chinese), I go and see the occasional movie at my good ‘ld Cinemateq, and every once in a while I meet up with a friend. But, other than that, my schedule is pretty much free.

I don’t “blog” as much as I did a while back (and it shows on both the blog and those reading - or those who used to read - this blog), I don’t spend that much time in front of the computer, I rarely watch TV, I don’t have long eating sessions. So, that leaves me wondering - where’s all that free time that I’m suppose to have? what did I spend it on?

There are so many things I want to do, so many things I’m interested in lately, so much that I’m passionate about, that I’m a bit frustrated that I don’t get to it. It all lines up to form a very long queue that gets longer by the day. I can’t even keep track of the things I did, or didn’t, as for example - I started reading a new book by Haruki Murakami only to discover after 20 pages that I know what’s going to happen next since I’ve read that book two weeks back, yet still - I couldn’t recall reading it. Same goes for Chinese, as there are so many neat exercises I make up for my self, like translating lyrics, building up stories, taking part in the Chinese Garden’s exercises and struggling to read through Chinese-based blogs, but hours go by and I don’t even get started. Some of my friends give up on me, as I don’t … ehh, how did they put it?… “maintain the relationship”. I want to, I think. I admire people who are able to maintain social relations with 20 friends at the same time as holding on a job, 2 children and also studying for an academic degree. I think I used to be able to do that, but I can’t seem to pull that off lately.

A Tian1! What has happened to me?!