Fili’s world

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Money time, money time. “I’m a very busy person, you all know. So many things to do, and I do it all alone, manage this, manage that, so I want to come see you before, but can not… can not”. Rhythm, rhythm, the clock’s ticking, 10 seconds passed and we’re not sure we made any money. “Today, I come see, and realize what is going on. But, I need to know, need to know. Application time has passed, and if not enough – we don’t open again. We need at least 3, at least 3, so you tell me now if you continue”. Pressure, pressure, no moment to lose, decisions, decision, we need to make decisions. Decisions that we make in this classroom, on this crucial moment, will affect the lives of millions, if not billions around the world. “So, so, who is continuing this class next semester?”.

It has always been the same. I’ve had the same reaction to pressure since I can remember my self. Everybody responds with a quick “Oh, oh, dui bu chi (sorry), dui bu chi (sorry again), we didn’t know, no no, we come/we can not come”. To our new very late arrival – Herman, who’s still unsure and wants another day to think it over with his friends, she replies in what I think any western would consider as a very intrusive manner – “Why? Why tomorrow? What difference does it make tomorrow? It’s not like you need to ask someone what to do…”. So, Alec and Josh are carrying on with the studies, Masako is heading back to Japan, and Herman wants to let us know tomorrow, if he’ll be able to survive the pressure. Yep, 3 folks from the original class, 1 new arrival and myself. That’s all that’s left from our grand class, sometimes to officially register 12 people . “2 people not enough, not enough, if only 2 people we don’t open class”.

Everybody gazes at me, “You, you! You continue?”. Already with a huge smile over the hilarious happenings I do my world-famous eyebrows raise, a shoulder nudge, two hands raising a little to mid air, saying “wo hai bu zhi dao” (I still don’t know). The manager seemed like it’s the first time she ever heard somebody respond with such an irrelevant answer - “What do you mean, you don’t know?”, money time, money time, so many things to do, so many things to do, “how can you not know?”. I shrug again - “Well, hopefully I’ll know later, maybe I’ll decide on the morning of the beginning of the second term”. Oh, face changes and it looks like the school’s manager has received an okay for a frontal assault into a cultural war. All stations armed, we’re go – I repeat – we’re GO for launch.

“Not good! Not good! One has to have a plan, a target or a goal in life. Look at me, that’s how I do it, I set a goal in life and I reach it, that’s the way you achieve things. What you say is not serious and it doesn’t bring good future”. SAY WHAT?! Code red, code red, enemy’s army has penetrated national airspace, taking evasive maneuvers. “Is that so? I don’t believe in that kind of thinking. I used to have a lot of targets in my life a year ago but it didn’t seem to work out for me, that doesn’t suit me right now”.

He’s resisting! The shame, the disgrace! All stations – fire at will, I repeat – fire at will. She goes further - “How can a person just float like an insignificant leaf with no purpose? If you don’t have a plan then you mean nothing”.

Enemy is deep within, she has reached our critical land and is attempting to overtake the capital. “Jeeezzz! But this is exactly how I enrolled to this semester, I just woke up on a Monday morning and came here to start class; you take a look at all those students that came here with a great goal in mind and then you consider target-less me. They’re far gone but I’m still here. Goals are sometimes just excuses for those looking for fake meaning”.

A few more blows from each side, each side taking heavy casualties, we part on a tensed mood – passionately disagreeing. Was that really Cultural differences? Personal differences? I have no idea why that happened, but it’s not my first time having this discussion and in about the same manner. It made me realize once again what type of people or environments I don’t enjoy and what kind of people will always have trouble with someone like me.

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