Fili’s world

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(Some stories that I may or may not have heard from different people while I’m in Saigon)

This fat western guy was coming down the stairs and walked straight up to me and the rest of the security boys. “Excuse me guys, I’m in a bit of a situation… I need…. a condom…’. Security guys or not, we get requests like that all the time, so I headed for my “special needs” box, gave him a condom for a good sum of money and sent him off his way. Two minutes later we got a call and when I picked up he screamed “Jesus, you !@$!@^ Vietnamese. What did you give me? Do I look like I’m ‘small size’ to you? You come up here right now and get me a bigger one!”. It’s hard to describe the horror I was faced with when he opened his room demonstrating me that it’s too small.

This Chinese guy came running out of his taxi into the hotel shouting “Quick, I need a f@#ck…”. It took me a couple of seconds to understand what he’s asking. “So you need a room?” I asked. “Oh, no… room isn’t enough, I need a girl… oh, wait, forget a girl, I need two girls and a room, and I need them FAST!”.

I was taking a shower at around mid-night while my Australian boyfriend was watching news on TV. Suddenly, someone started knocking on the door. My boyfriend opened the door and it was the police. “How many people in the room?” they asked, and my boyfriend answered that it’s him and me. They looked at my face, saw that I’m Vietnamese, gave my boyfriend a suspicious look and barked “Do you have a marriage license?”. My boyfriend answered that we are to get married soon to which the police smiled and asked that I get out to confront each of us with general facts about the partner while checking it against the ID card they took – How old is he? How old is she? When’s your girlfriend’s birthday? How long have you been together with you boyfriend? We knew most of the details, but not all. This embarrassment with the details seemed to please the police, since they knew that we’re now in trouble. The boss of the hotel had to “deal” with the cops to look the other way.

This old guy has been here before, but never before have I seen him so happy. “Oh, I had the wildest night you wouldn’t believe”. I was afraid to ask, but responded politely asking “That good, ah?”. “Oh, yeah. Vietnam, goddamn. I went for a 24 hour ‘massage’, every hour different girl. Never in my life have I felt this good. You have to try it…”.

He looked Vietnamese, but there was something different about him. First of all, he had blue eyes – using colored contact lens - and the most intriguing haircut. To my surprise, his English was impeccable, and it turned out he was an American Vietnamese living in Texas. “So what brings you to Vietnam? Visiting family?” I was curious. “Oh, just getting married. You know… fake marriage.”. No, I don’t know, but he seemed keen to explain it to me. “As an American, I get 50000$ upfront to take a flight over here, they pay for my expensive stay here including all the, ahhmm… expenses and benefits, and all I have to do is marry this girl here, bring her to America and act like I’m married for 3 years. Best money I ever did. I’ve invited everyone here, so you should come – I’m not paying for it anyhow and I want it to be a very fancy wedding”. “So you don’t know this girl… right? Is her family very rich?” I pursued further. “No, they have worked their whole life so that they can afford to get their daughter away from here. They’re hoping once she is there it might be easier for them to come – if ever” he finished up with a wink.

“You need to understand that most Vietnamese men are very hard. Some are very bad. They smoke all the time, they drink nonstop, they gamble, they spend your money like there’s no tomorrow. But, the worst thing is that they don’t stay with one girl. They want as many girls as they can at the same time and they would do anything – anything – to make it happen”. First time I’ve heard this statement I was a bit skeptic, second time I’ve heard it from a different girl I was thinking it might be some weird coincidence, third time I figured maybe it’s an opening line to praise western men, but by now – after hearing this from so many girls and knowing some of those Vietnamese men – I’m accepting this as a fact. Vietnamese women seem to like foreigner men, even the ones who are poor and stay in Vietnam, over Vietnamese men since Vietnamese men have a very bad reputation. “Take Korea, for example. Men over there know how to treat women. If they love a girl – they would do anything for her – instead of just using her up and throwing her away”.

(Yeah, I’m a little better. Thanks for asking…)

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