Fili’s world

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(Warning: the next text is not full of adventure and description of 3rd world life. It’s even a little disgusting and to be honest – a little embarrassing to write about – I have no idea why… maybe it’s because I don’t like to write about my weaknesses. )

It’s not my month. Not lucky, I guess.

I was about to let the whole thing go, thinking it’s some kind of flu that would pass through, but – thank heavens above – Jessy has insisted we should visit a hospital to make sure. It’s not only us that got it hard, it’s also the 3 security guards in my previous hotel and god knows whom else in the area. How this thing was transmitted and how long we’ve all being carrying it is a mystery never to be solved, but facts are straight up.

The doctor, luckily speaking fluent English, has stared into my throat and – for my extreme surprise – gave out a little scream. He then called up Jessy to come have a look and examine the horror. It’s back. My old time friend – streptococcus whatshisname – probably brought up by severe flu running around. “You should have had those things out with an operation years ago…” he said while his head kept going from left to right and back left again. He gave me a reminder of my old time protector – Antibiotics – with some other 4 mystery medicine tablets, with the order to head back to bed, and with the fierce instruction to avoid staying under air-con and to refer from drinking cold water (and this is, to remind us all, Saigon).

This calls for in depth self investigation. What circumstances in life can bring a young 27 years old male to think that extreme exhaustion, dizziness, inability to sleep, coughing, endless spiting, running nose and a pale face can be something “minor” that would just go away if he ignores it long enough. Maybe it’s that I got used to my Israeli allergies with all the fucked up symptoms no body understands but the allergic. Maybe it’s the Mono I had not long ago for a long period of time that had got me used to feeling tired and un-energetic. Maybe it’s the history of 2 years antibiotics back in my BA to fight off my throat’s reoccurring streptococcus. The list goes on and on… and I myself am suprised just how long this list is.
Every fight I made against disease has lowered my sensitivity to my health, and this is without mentioning my unexplainable need to ignore the obvious about myself and to always show the world – and most of all to myself – that I’m the almighty powerful - without any weaknesses. While I’ve had time to rethink all my medical history this past day, I’ve also come to the conclusion that I’ve experienced – by far – more than the average man my age faces by natural occurrence. Am I that weak? Am I that sensitive and vulnerable? The more I seem to try to overcome my small issues of physical health the more they seem to come back and haunt me.

So, I might go rent a DVD player and start watching the Vietnamese translated “Late marriage” Israeli-movie I found laying here and the huge collection of pirated Hollywood movie Jessy was kind enough to lend me.
At least I’m not facing this entirely alone. At least, by now, I feel comfortable enough around Saigon to not fall into a Dici by the surroundings and people…

Ggeeezzzz… - what am I to face next?

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