Fili’s world

The head and body laid down, face towards the skies and the pounding of the boat’s engine beating strongly in the background. Pressed against the people I’ve met that day, stars shining brightly above, exhaustion flowing within me, I had time to relax a bit and rethink how the whole day went. As it was all happening it felt like it was happening to some one else and that I was watching it on some comedy film. There’s no way that this actually happened to me, or did it?

“Ting phi tang, pho ding tong, da dang a pha dong… Do Thai … Phili!”. I had no idea what the host comedian has just said in Vietnamese but I could make out that he said something about Israel (Do Thai, pronounced Yo-Tay) and that the final word was my nickname “Phili”. By that time I’ve already managed to feel comfortable with the fact that I was the center of attraction, but this host’s introduction has brought up new levels of excitement. Around a hundred Vietnamese people were ecstatic, cheering loudly and clapping their hands, waiting for me to go on stage. Throughout the whole day, Ly has translated people’s questions as to whether I’m going to sing them a foreign song on center stage and I’ve assured them that I have picked up a song just for them. I stood up, hands up above, thanking them for the invitation and headed towards the stage, where I think the comedian has made a few more jokes about how tall I was compared to him and how weird I look. I took the huge microphone off his hands and looked around with amazement - trying to spot the newlywed husband and wife amongst all the eager faces. I started off with a small “Xin Chao” and had to wait for a minute till the excited noisy clapping calmed down. I had some song in mind, thinking about some English song they may have heard like “Every breath you take” or Steve Wonder, but now that I was on center stage - the irony overwhelming me - I knew that this calls for something more extreme. I admit that not talking Hebrew for a while has fucked up my memory of the all the Hebrew songs I knew, but there was one I felt pretty confident about and that would serve my Anthropological goals perfectly. Slowly, enabling them to get used to the strange pronunciation and allowing them to learn the sounds for the repeat, I started singing Israel’s national anthem. Giggling every once in a while, fighting my urge to burst into endless laughter, I was singing Ha-Tikva on the stage with a huge bunch of strongly singing-devoted Vietnamese folks who have never, up to that day, seen a live Western. Looking at the bride and groom’s shocked faces as they watched the opening of their wedding celebration I knew that this was one Country-side wedding that everyone would not soon forget.

The whole day started a lot sooner. I woke up at 8:00, getting ready for my first Vietnamese wedding by putting on my only pair of jeans and shoes for the first time in my 4 month of traveling. Smiling through the hotel staff’s compliments about the positive change in my clothing I picked up a motorbike and drove off to pick Ly up. Joining up with 2 of her friends we started driving to Ly’s country side, where one of her childhood friends was getting married. Ever since we first went Kareoking together Ly has reminded me again and again of the occasion and has made sure that I would come along. Her plan about showing me the true Vietnamese way of living was coming to a high peak. 20 minutes on the bike, then a 30 minute ride with the bike on a tiny boat to the other side of the river, then a one hour drive. From the stares I got from the old people and the thrilled “Ha-lo!” calls from the young people, it was apparent that the country side has rarely seen anything that looks like me. As we got there, all the local people gathered around to examine the new phenomena by means of massive physical contact. Only 2 hours from HoiAn central tourist resort, I couldn’t understand why this all seemed like some of the stories friends told me from India. Ly has tried explaining to me that despite of how close the big cities are, people rarely leave the country, not having enough money or just not feeling comfortable over there. No Hollywood movie they saw or TV show they watched has prepared them for the shock of actually meeting one of the aliens. Every where I went I was followed by around 15 children, sometimes pulling off my arm hair and touching me all over. The local joker, who turned out to be Kareoke king later one, has made countless jokes on my behalf - speaking some sort of Vietnamese English mixture that I could not follow yet was extremely funny. It seemed like everyone has forgotten about the wedding and about the groom and bride and that this whole day has twisted around to be all about me. Never, in my life, have I had this much attention and interest, and it was taking up energy I knew I didn’t posses.

“Ban Bo Hay Met (four three two one)… YO! (cheers!)”. One toast followed another, and I was in big trouble. Everybody at the wedding wanted to toast their highly toxic alcohol drink with me and Ly looked worried, knowing that if I was to toast with all of the people then there is no way I would make it back home. After three toasts, that have made me dizzy, it was time to think of a way out. Saying “no” to an offered toast was by no means acceptable, so we devised a clever scheme where Ly would catch their attention for a split second while I refilled my glass with water instead of alcohol. Luckily, that worked. Everyone was astonished as to the alcohol capacity their foreigner guest had, and I was crowned “Alcohol king”, having to sometimes fake my way around as being drunk so people would be happy. Alcohol or not, even a hundred shots of water do strange things to the body so finally I went aside to catch some air, unsuccessfully avoiding the young ones. Aside from all that there was food - that has finally managed to break off my stomach into sleepless nights of endless yawning - lots of Kareoke off tone singing and loads of dancing. Overpowering my brother’s wedding’s Hina, this was - by far - the tightest, most crowded and warm celebration I’ve ever been in. Even though this was a different country, I still didn’t feel all that comfortable in a wedding, so when Ly pushed me up to leave I was very relieved. Sitting down together with a small group of the HoiAn wedding attendants for ice-cream I was asked whether I was bored or happy to have been taken to an authentic wedding. I smiled and replied - “It was strange, but I’m very happy - I wouldn’t have skipped that for the world”.