First month…

“Min… Minerali…” the weird man cried, looking desperate, seeking help. I was walking down the Chaweng Beach main road, looking for breakfast, as he approached me with a sad look in his eyes. I tried to understand what he was mumbling, but there was no way he’d come through. “Slowly, please, what is it you’re looking for?” I asked. “You… no no… me… this… min-mineral”. Looking at the way this guy dressed, I could tell that he’s new here. He was probably in his 50s, had this Moroccan Egyptian appearance, so I just gambled away with “You’re looking for a mineral store?” in simple Hebrew. He replied instantly in English – “yes yes, store…”, but after 3 seconds he gave me a strong blow on my shoulder and laughed. He was an Israeli that arrived at Thailand 2 days ago, and not knowing any English he was happy he found another Israeli. As it turns out, the guy was looking for what Israelis refer to as “Mineral water” though there’s a good chance that if you’d ask for that here, you’ll get just that – some green-blue bottle of mineral water you can rub on your back.

Suddenly it occurred to me that I was the experienced traveler, the mister-know-it-all, and he was anxious for my help. He was the ultimate goner, not having any travel book, not knowing any language other than Hebrew, and having only two weeks to spend here. Asking him why he came here led to the same mysterious answer – “I have no idea, I just did”. So, being bored and the kind person that I am, I took on this charity case and off we went to get him some 5 baht bottled drinking water from the 7Eleven. It was a standup show and I just couldn’t stop smiling. He had no idea what a 7Eleven is, since all he ate since he got here was Gerber he bought in Israel. He was cursing the whole time he was with me about how bad Thailand stinks and how ugly everyone is. He’s actually been to Bangkok and Pattaya and ran away because he couldn’t stand the smell. When I asked him what his plans were, he replied that he has to leave to Puket tomorrow. So I asked him why and what he was trying to accomplish in this trip then he said that he hasn’t a clue. It became clear that this typical Israeli schoolteacher from Lod wasn’t enjoying himself and that by the time he’ll figure out what’s going on he’ll be headed back to Israel.

So, I took him to BeitChabad and asked him to relax. I ordered him his first Thai watermelon shake (”God! That’s good!”) and gave him an assignment to try at least one new shake at every meal. I suggested that the first thing he’ll do it go have a massage and told him about the different types targeting what he was really looking for. His second assignment was to try at least one different type of massage every day. I told him he should cool down at Ko-Samoi for a couple’o days before he madly rushes off to yet another Tsunami hit beach. Finally, I wrote him down some things in English he’d be able to show Thai people in restaurants and food marts and explained the basic principles of Thai cuisine. After all that, getting rid of the guy was no easy task, since he figured we’ll spend the rest of his vacation together. But with the help of the kind and friendly BeitChabad I sent him on his way.

“Don’t you just hate it when that happens?”. Actually, I don’t, I love it. I was trekking Lana Lod (big cave something) between two Thais up north near the Mea-Sai city border with Burma. Lonely Planet said there should be guides and torches for rent at the entrance, but there was no one there. The Australians were bitching about the Lonely Planet, but I headed inside with the Thai father-son combo who had tiny flashlights. It was dead-black, and you could see nothing the whole trek but the floor and the random bat, but it was really fun. We fell, we screamed, we ached, we laughed, we got lost, it was wonderful. When we got out, I said my farewells to the charming family and had a talk with the Australians. After they all left, I went back to my bike and saw this distant lady on the side selling food. Starving, I went over to tell her I want to have a Papaya-salad and as I approached she said shyly “Torch? guide?”.

It’s been a month, and I can hardly believe it. At some days, like this one in Ko-Samoi, Thailand feels like home, and all I want to do is rent a room for atleast the next month and live here. Other days, I could go insane, climbing walls looking for something to do, being bored or lonely. I guess it depends on the place you’re at and the mood you’re in (Dah!). Looking back, I could find my self settling down at ChangMai / Pai / Soppong / Ko-Samoi, but can not picture myself staying a minute longer at ChangRai / Pattaya / Ko-Samet. I have no idea what the connection is between the places in either group, there might be none. Meanwhile, things have turned, and it has come to a point where I’m in Thailand more than most people I meet and I live here as comfortably as I do in Israel. At this stage, I could really admit to myself this is all incredible and the good thing is there’s yet more to come…