Fili’s world

(R-Rated without going into too much detail.)

“However, therein lies a dilemma. Because, when it comes to the subject of me, I believe you are truly and utterly incapable of telling the truth, especially to me, and least of all, to yourself. And, when it comes to the subject of me, I am truly and utterly incapable of believing anything you say.” (The words of my mentor)

It doesn’t matter how naive you are and what you’re looking for. In Thailand’s big cities there a complex concept of what a massage is. Yesterday, after the long wet drive back from the Golden Triangle, my body was in ruins and all I needed was a good massage to fix me up. I walked around (craptown-)ChangRai’s tourist area, avoiding the endless “Hey sexy” “John! hey john!” calls from all over the place and skipping the massage houses with the big neon lights highlighting the “deep oil massage”. I found this really descent, no-ad or girl at the front, clean and quiet place 5 minutes walk away. “A Thai-massage, pour favour” I requested, aiming at a 2 hours fully-clothed traditional thai massage of stretching and pushing.

I got to hand it to them, they know how to pick their girls. I got this really beautiful slim big-breasted model (they have that in Thailand?) that took me upstairs and handed me clothes I should change to. I was left in the room to change by myself, but after 10 seconds - exactly when I was just about to put something on she came in and started to help, moving her arms around me - touching everything she could get her hands on. At this point I thought that maybe I’m jumping to conclusions too fast and after I was fully-dressed I figured there isn’t much that can happen.
After 2 minutes of a massage, she rose and started mummbling something in Thai. Since I couldn’t follow, she ran outside and came back with some wierd lotion and an English speaking woman. She told me the massage-girl felt some real strain on my back that she’s going to treat and that I should be ready for “pain most tourists can’t stand” but it followed with a promise that the upcoming night will be the most relaxed night in my trip. Hmm… pain vs. relaxed night… whatever. Well, I guess she kind’o kept one of her promises, and it wasn’t the pain part. So, there goes my shirt and here comes the lotion. She seemed pretty excited about all sort of things about me - that I have bright eyes, that I’m really tall (couldn’t fit the bed), that I had big arms, that I had hair on my chest, that I was aching (”Oh, you big baby. I mommy, you big baby”). It soon became apparent that her hands were going everywhere and that she’ll make sure that my hands will ‘accidently’ deep-feel everypart of her body.
Now, therein lies a dilemma. You could imagine the things that were going through my mind. I had no idea why she’s like that, and throughout the massage she didn’t ask for money or anything of the sort. I’m quite sure that if I was a female with a male giving me a that massage then I just might be offended. But, strangly, I was feeling like I just might be the one exploiting her. Yet, she’s an adult (and an attractive one) so why can’t a person just sit back and enjoy?

Anyways, nothing happened beyond warm fuzzing and touching (No “Relaxation”) and I admit it was the best massage I’ve had so far. I was thinking about this strange Thailand massage reality all the walk back. Donno, maybe it’s great and I should shut my conscience up and enjoy it. I think it’s the feeling that I want to back there that really bothers me…